Power Word: Blocked

1st-level Legacy Systems & Zombie Projects

Casting Time: 1 action, typically cast during standup
Range/Area: Self
Components: V (the word “blocked,” followed by a dependency named just specifically enough to sound real)
Duration: Until the next standup, or until someone with the authority to check follows up, whichever is later
Classes: Engineer, Anyone With a Ticket Assigned to Them

This spell requires no saving throw. Its effect is gated on whether the named dependency is real: if it is, you were already blocked, and this spell changes nothing. If it isn’t, this spell functions perfectly anyway, absolving you of the ticket’s lack of progress for the duration — and no creature present, including your manager, is in a position to tell the two outcomes apart without independently verifying the dependency, which essentially never happens inside the duration.

This spell does not require you to have attempted to resolve the blocker before casting it.

At Higher Levels. This spell does not become more effective when cast using a higher-level slot; a more senior engineer is not blocked more convincingly.

Flavor: “Still blocked on the API team — following up again today.” — standup notes, week three